Getting in – the right frame – to get coached

Published August 18, 2014 1:46 pm

Innovative LeadershipMuch has been said about importance of coaching. Needless to say – remaining connected with right coach(s) – you find – in your career – helps in a long run. Also, I strongly believe in keeping your – personal self – as one of your most trusted coach and mentor. Nobody knows you better than your – self.

As a parent, you see your children grow and you need to “act” as coach so that they pick up some of their live chores themselves. I have been in this – to get my son and daughter – bath themselves. If I leave them by themselves – they will just play, pour water, rub little bit here and there and – come out. I needed to coach them to “bath themselves”. As you know, children don’t listen; act as per their instinct. That is actually good. You want them to be themselves and not depend on you either. At the same time, you want them to pick things up correctly. This is where – it struck me that getting in – the right frame – to get coached – is as important – as finding the right coach.

If you have heard the Indian story – that if you pour water keeping the vessel inverted – nothing will get in. To get coached – one need to be open – to receive. That requires generating the right emotion – to be humble enough – to think that I know but still I don’t know *all*. Hence, I am open to every situation and especially the coach to receive. To receive – one need to generate emotion of humility. What is humility? It is the midway between inferiority (I don’t know) and superiority (I know all) feeling.  It is that frame of you when you seek your deeper self – your intuition – by surrendering all of yourself – not speaking a word but gazing to what it is pointing at.

There can be past experiences that make one to close down in specific situation or with person. I personally have gone through this. When I developed distrust about a person, I have closed down to what the person might advise or share. The right thing is to not close down. Accept everything one says – with certainly a pinch of salt. Receive as is. but then – it need to go the test of your rationale logic and intuition – without any bias to the situation or person. This is the hard one and this is where generating the feeling of humility – helped me.

As an adult, I learnt one fine day that by being closed – even in adverse situation or people – I am not helping myself. I need to be humble. A coach can also help here. Appreciation of what person knows or does right – helps him open up. Appreciating my child right actions like rubbing part of the body thoroughly and for sufficient time – helped open the channel between us.

If I am listening to a video, attending a seminar, attending a conference* – if I close the channel – not be in the right frame – I lose out. Coaching begins once the channel is open. Thereafter – idea passing your rationale and intuition – is equally important. Once it passes, you are connected deeply with the Idea, you have grown and the objective of the coach to share/support you – is served!

* Any situation can help person grow and hence, act as a coach.

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