Monthly Archives: August 2014

Getting in – the right frame – to get coached

Published August 18, 2014 1:46 pm

Innovative LeadershipMuch has been said about importance of coaching. Needless to say – remaining connected with right coach(s) – you find – in your career – helps in a long run. Also, I strongly believe in keeping your – personal self – as one of your most trusted coach and mentor. Nobody knows you better than your – self.

As a parent, you see your children grow and you need to “act” as coach so that they pick up some of their live chores themselves. I have been in this – to get my son and daughter – bath themselves. If I leave them by themselves – they will just play, pour water, rub little bit here and there and – come out. I needed to coach them to “bath themselves”. As you know, children don’t listen; act as per their instinct. That is actually good. You want them to be themselves and not depend on you either. At the same time, you want them to pick things up correctly. This is where – it struck me that getting in – the right frame – to get coached – is as important – as finding the right coach.

If you have heard the Indian story – that if you pour water keeping the vessel inverted – nothing will get in. To get coached – one need to be open – to receive. That requires generating the right emotion – to be humble enough – to think that I know but still I don’t know *all*. Hence, I am open to every situation and especially the coach to receive. To receive – one need to generate emotion of humility. What is humility? It is the midway between inferiority (I don’t know) and superiority (I know all) feeling.  It is that frame of you when you seek your deeper self – your intuition – by surrendering all of yourself – not speaking a word but gazing to what it is pointing at.

There can be past experiences that make one to close down in specific situation or with person. I personally have gone through this. When I developed distrust about a person, I have closed down to what the person might advise or share. The right thing is to not close down. Accept everything one says – with certainly a pinch of salt. Receive as is. but then – it need to go the test of your rationale logic and intuition – without any bias to the situation or person. This is the hard one and this is where generating the feeling of humility – helped me.

As an adult, I learnt one fine day that by being closed – even in adverse situation or people – I am not helping myself. I need to be humble. A coach can also help here. Appreciation of what person knows or does right – helps him open up. Appreciating my child right actions like rubbing part of the body thoroughly and for sufficient time – helped open the channel between us.

If I am listening to a video, attending a seminar, attending a conference* – if I close the channel – not be in the right frame – I lose out. Coaching begins once the channel is open. Thereafter – idea passing your rationale and intuition – is equally important. Once it passes, you are connected deeply with the Idea, you have grown and the objective of the coach to share/support you – is served!

* Any situation can help person grow and hence, act as a coach.

Register your mobile number for hp gas anytime service

Published August 14, 2014 11:37 am

Since I was disconnecting my landline, I need to update the registered number with hp gas anytime service. I could not find a way in the IVR menu. I could only delete the registered number.

When you dial the anytime number, it asks for the landline number of the gas agency without the std code. In my case, agent landline number is different than the one expected by hp anytime number. I need to call the hp gas agency to get the number. For sri sai Krishna gas agency, gachibowli – 32560557.

The agency also updated me with the process to register your number with hp anytime. You need to send the sms to hp gas anytime mobile number with following text:

hp<space><agency-landline-number-including-stdcode><space><your-consumer-number>

For example: hp 04023005678 123456

That worked!

*numbers used in the example above – are fictitious and meant for demonstration only.

How to deal with bully and be self?

Published August 13, 2014 5:18 pm

Do you try to avoid a person in a party? Do you have bad past memories which make you look down on self? Do you have hidden hatred about peers who put you in poor light – in public?

Well you are not alone. Many of us – who are not so called – thick skinned – go through this. You hang on to “these things” for long until when it come in way of your personal growth, in your way of reaching your full potential. At that time, we question whether there is anything wrong with me; what do I do about “these things”?

Let’s take a situation and walk through this. I am in conversation with few people in public. That means others are watching the conversation. These people may fall in some of these categories. For each category of people, it might help me to move away from wrong action & attitude towards right action & attitude. Let’s go slowly through each category.

CategoryWrong ActionRight ActionWrong attitudeRight attitude
They bully you in front of others. They make you feel vulnerable and belittle you. They induce that feeling of inferiority which - especially in public - is baffling.Get nervous and be vulnerable
Ignore him and be self.

If he still continues, say something like - are you done (in an assertive but not angry tone that you really don't care about this)? And move on.
I hate this guy. Wish I could slap him now.

I feel down since I could not deal with this guy in front of so many other people.
They are naïve to think that respect is achieved by bullying others.

Be humble. Acknowledge your "limited but personal" knowledge and experience about the topic or situation. Be self.
They give critical feedback but their intent is not misplaced
Get defensive and defend your stanceListen, acknowledge their feedback and respond or seek time to think over it
I hate him. He criticized / cut me in front of others.
I listen, process and update my knowledge and experience
They are authority on subject matter
Get nervousBe humble. Acknowledge your respect towards them and put across points you may haveI feel belittled (inferior) in front of these authoritarian figures
Be humble. Acknowledge your "limited but personal" knowledge and experience about the topic or situation. Be self.
They are immature on subject matter
Do not prepare. Talk anything.
Still be prepared. Be humble and acknowledge gratitude for the opportunity. Talk sense and make your points.
My goodness, these guys know nothing.
Be humble. Acknowledge your "limited but personal" knowledge and experience about the topic or situation. Be self.

Well said and done. What do I do about past bullies that still haunt me?

  1. Jot them down. Forget them now. Better late than never since they should have been ignored that very day.
  2. It is not that I was fool. Rather other person was naïve enough to feel superior/ seek fun – by showcasing me on lowlight.

Well – How do I future proof self from bullying or calm in a conversation in public?

  1. Ignore the bully. Cut it assertively if that does not work.
  1. Be humble. Acknowledge that you have “limited but personal” knowledge and experience about situation/topic. Be self.
  1. Listen, process and update my knowledge and experience daily.
  1. Work hard to gain knowledge and experiences about situation and topics daily.

 

What helped you deal with bully and maintain calm during conversation / presentation in public?

Selling some more used items on ebay.in

Published August 12, 2014 10:08 am

It has been long since the last post about selling used items on ebay.in. In the meanwhile, I have to sell few other used items. Selling through olx.in was not getting traction and I finally decided to list them on ebay.in.

The money you get vs the time investment – does – raise question whether it is worth it – to sell used items through olx or ebay. Monetarily – It may not be worth it if your per hour time cost is anywhere more than INR 1k and item worth is less than say 2-3k. but sometime you do things – just for fun or want someone else to “use” the thing rather than give it to kabadi and dispose it off. I have to do that for couple of old things that I had listed on olx but not getting traction. e.g. old furniture – give it to our service staff. old chair – give to our maid. old glass top center table – did sell through olx after numerous phone calls from people enquiring but not coming to collect it.

When we are at the topic – few things about listing items on olx.in. These helped me get traction on selling them or avoid getting spam calls that have very low likelihood to sell.

  1. Assert in the listing that serious buyer will get marginal bargain and they can come down to see the item. Don’t call to bargain.
  2. Sometimes – the area name – selected for the listing is not very known; you can get spam calls from all over the city checking about the location of the item. solution – Clarified the address/location in the listing details. Also mentioned that if you are not from the nearby <this location>, transport cost may not make it viable purchase for you.
  3. Also added additional cash discount over the listing price for the buyers taking the item before <date>

Coming back to ebay, I have been able to sell some of the used books through ebay. These were primarily motivated from the fact that someone else can read it as long as I can get the courier cost from the buyer. Few notes about this:

  1. Shipping through speedpost – india post – was good for the books. It cost in the range of 70-100 if the book is not very bulky and go in a green large side envelope weighing < 500gm. I need to purchase the envelope from the stationary shop. It has internal cotton thing – between the paper to make the envelope little more robust.
  2. For local (same city) – even DTDC – works out cheaper. It cost 70/- and if you have relationship with your local franchise – he comes to collect the package from home.
  3. For bulkier book, I need to pack with the cartoon cover and brown tape.
  4. There is a nice bookcrossing.com site. You can use this site to track your book journey. I had marked one of the book with their id (BCID)

I have also sold – used broadband modem, external hard disk through ebay. If the electronic item is not outdated – there are takers for the item on ebay. You need to price it competitively.

Before closing – Few notes about DTDC:

  1. I got one franchise to courier my packages couple of times; now, he entertains to come home to collect package.
  2. Insurance adds to the shipping cost. I have taken it for items costing > 1k. Shipping cost then goes in range of 200 for items in <= 500gm range.
  3. Festival time may not be right time to ship through the courier. I have faced twice delayed delivery around Rakhi time.
  4. Local shipping cost 70/- minimum. If the item is collect at home, it works better than speed post service.
  5. I have been overall happy with DTDC service.

Have you also sold your used items on ebay? How was your experience?